Sexuality in writing

I feel like this is a topic that can easily be taken the wrong way, so let me start out by saying that I have absolutely nothing wrong with gays, bis, queers, pans, whatever you want to call it. Who you like is your problem, not mine, as is what kind of relationships you prefer to hear about. Personally, I couldn't care less about who is who and what side does what. My only concern, both in my daily life and when I'm reading and writing, is whether or not that couple works well together and is healthy in their relationship.

All that being said, a topic that I hear about frequently is how straight relationships are over represented in writing. Ignoring statistics on how many straight couples there are and how much they are represented in books - because honestly I don't know, and I doubt anyone else does either - if you're reading a book to try and see a specific coupling in it, then you may be reading that book for the wrong reasons. We all have our preferences, of course, and personally I like that there are so many straight couples in writing, because as a straight male, I can relate. But if you're not in that boat, certainly it can be somewhat hard to put yourself in the shoes of the characters you are reading about.

But trying to push for the characters to change their preferences based on your own... And there are people who will argue that they don't want to change the characters that have already been made. They just want that change to be made in the future. But if you're trying to write a character a specific way because that's what you think they should be, you'll quickly find that that character becomes flat and lifeless. It's a problem that all writers have, and that they have to learn to deal with in their own ways. But most commonly, they realize that it's not up to them to determine how their character will grow - it is up to the character themselves. It's a weird thing to think about, but it's just how it goes.

That, of course, will be determined in part by who the writer is. Personally, the vast majority of my characters are straight, will end up finding love, and will become both romantically and sexually interested in whoever it is that they come across. That's just what's in my head and in my bones, because it's how I am. Sure, once in a while I write something different, and it may be awkward because of my lack of experience, but in a way that's a good thing. Maybe it's their first experience too, and so it's just as awkward for them as it is for me.

The point is that these are the kinds of things that you can't just force. There's very little in writing that can be forced, truthfully. There's a reason the word forced has a negative connotation when used in those circumstances, after all. If you're the kind of person that feels there should be more representation, then by all means, get in the game. It may be terrible at first, and it may make you feel like you're just making things worse. But you keep at it, and you get better, and eventually you find yourself writing something worth reading.

That's all I'm doing.