Tired

I am very, very tired. And when I say that, while true, I'm not talking about physical tiredness or being sleepy. This is very much going to be a post that's more for me than anyone else, and while it would be nice if people read what I said and found some kind of inspiration in my words, I hardly expect that to be a thing that happens. Rather, what I want to say is very much me wanting to put the words down and make them more real for me, so that I have something to look back at and reaffirm myself on.

I am very tired of hatred. I am tired of fighting. I am tired of bitterness and arguing and anger. As an American I am dissatisfied with this election, not because of who won, not because I disliked both candidates, not even because of the perpetuated lies on both sides, but because of the constant and irrational hatred. Of the Trump supporters, of the Hillary supporters, of the non-participants, of whites, of blacks, of men, of women. Of people pointing out the hatred. Nothing but hatred on every side pointed in every direction. I am so very, very tired of it.

I'm not going to pretend like I haven't participated on some level. I'm no saint. Far from it. I'm not going to pretend like everyone should just get along and put their differences behind them. We have brains capable of forming our own unique opinions for a reason. There is always room for debate and question, and those are healthy parts of human culture.

But we take that to levels too far, especially as of late. And maybe it's always been this bad, and we are just increasingly aware of it. I don't know. I'm not that smart. All I know is that hatred never helped anyone or anything. Hatred of any person is poisonous - hatred of any group of people is toxic. It's one thing to hate injustice - another entirely to hate someone committing injustices.

I'm tired of hating. I'm tired of being hated - though there's not much that can be done about that. I don't want to hate anymore. But I can do something about hating. Or I can at least try. Try to listen to people before making a decision. Try to understand, even if in the end I still disagree. Just try to be kind in general.

And I know I'm gonna be bad at it. That I will constantly have to think and focus on it. But I will try.