Free Write 7

I've been kind of all over the place today, thanks to a few things that have been going on. In the last couple hours or so in particular, my mind has just been bouncing, and I've been struggling to keep any one thought going. Seems like the perfect time for another free write, as much as I hate them.

In the city where I live - which, for the record, is usually extremely peaceful and uneventful - two police officers were shot today. As of the time of my writing this, It's been ten hours since that occurred, and I can still hear a helicopter flying overhead outside, searching for the guy that did it. It's a tad disconcerting, especially considering how very unusual it is for the city. It's not even known at the moment if the local schools will be open tomorrow morning, just because of how relatively close the shooting was to them, and the need to close off the streets. To be honest, I don't think the guy's here anymore, but I can't blame the police for searching so hard. It's not exactly a calming thought that there is a shooter loose. I just hope things manage to resolve themselves in the coming hours, and that the shot officers can recover. They didn't die, though one is in critical condition at the moment, so here's hoping.

I'm a pretty big advocator for exercise, and over the past couple years I've become a pretty big nerd about it. That's not to say I'm good at it - I'm better at fitness now than I was when I was younger, but I struggle constantly with food intake. I eat way too much garbage, which makes me frustrated with my weight. But I love exercising, and I love pushing my limits, and I love the way my muscles build and what they allow me to do. Most guys would want to show that off using tank tops. I hate tank tops. I don't like the way they look on other guys, I don't like the way they look on me, and I don't like the way it feels to wear them. I'm stupidly picky about it, and I recognize it, but that doesn't change the fact that that's how I feel about it.

I'm weird about clothing like that in general, but trying to explain that usually either confuses or irritates people. A lot of my opinions are like that. I don't overly want to get into it, partially because it would take too long, and partially because I know I won't explain it very well and I'll miss some of the points that I want to make, and it won't make a ton of sense, because that's just how it always goes. I'm kind of hypocritical about a lot of them, which I recognize, but it's hard for me to really do anything about it. There's a certain amount of logic to how I feel about things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's logical. I can't always follow it myself, I just have to feel it out as I go. Which isn't really helpful for those around me.