Lipogram

If you've never heard of a lipogram, permit me to inform you of one of the most subtle, interesting ways of testing your abilities as a writer. In short, the rules of writing a lipogram are very simple - you take a single letter from the alphabet, and eliminate from what you are writing. A small thing, perhaps, and one that the vast majority of readers would probably never even see, but it demands an exhaustive ability to not only pay attention to your own writing, but to utilize synonyms to their maximum potential.

Now, it should go without saying that there are a myriad of letters that are far more taxing to avoid than others. Vowels are by far the hardest - and amongst them, the letter E is the hardest. E is the single most reappearing letter in the English language. Insanely simple words are removed - the, he, she, they, be. Hell, the entirety of the name of my blog would be unusable. And yet, there are both poems and novels that are written in just this very way.

Personally, I've only attempted to write a lipogram a few times, and never without the letter E. I feel that I would need far more skill than is in my possession in order to take something like that on. And furthermore, the things that I have written in this style have not been overly long - probably no more than three pages, if I remember rightly. And to be honest, I tend to forget that lipograms exist from time to time, thereby making it somewhat impossible to keep attempting them. But every time I remember that they exist, I feel urged to at least talk about them.

Unfortunately, the list of words that are in my head as available to be summoned at any given moment is far fewer than I would prefer it to be. I generally have a good sense of the meaning of most words, and am able to string some kind of explanation of what I'm trying to get out. Using smaller words to explain bigger ideas is something that I'm pretty good at - or at least, I'd like to think that I am. And that works out at times. But I am definitely short on the synonyms that you really need to write a lipogram, and write it well.

But that doesn't mean that I won't try to do it anyway. And I'll pull it off, even if it doesn't sound all that great. Like this, for example. You didn't think I'd explain what a lipogram was without writing one myself, did you? There are probably some letters that I left out without meaning too. It's not easy, after all, to offhandedly mention that quirky xylophones are zeroing in on how to jump. But I think that just about handles every letter, sans one. Feel free to take a guess. Try not to gyp the system by using find in your browser, first. More fun that way.