Dating

It had been a very long week up until that point, not by the amount of things that were happening, but by the things that were absent. It was perhaps the longest week of my life up until that point. Or at least it felt like it at the time. The last day up until that point had been marked by packing, getting ready to make a flight to visit my mother for a week, during which even less would be happening. I would have nothing but time to agonize over the silence that had been plaguing me. But at the last minute, that silence was broken.

I don't know if it was better or worse for that silence to have been broken, seeing as in turn it broke me as well. I was never much of one for talking, but for a few minutes, I was more silent than usual. I think this caught my dad's attention already, but the utter devastation and uncontrollable sobbing that followed thereafter were what made him take action.

I felt as though my heart had been ripped straight out of my chest. I had lost my girlfriend under circumstances that I couldn't have imagined in my wildest nightmares, and the fact that it hurt her just as much as it hurt me only served to worsen the pain.

I don't think my dad fully understood the pain, or what had brought it on. I didn't want to go into details. I barely wanted to talk about it, and I knew he couldn't sympathize. So in silence we finished packing up, and he drove me to the airport.

On the way, he tried to give me a myriad of advice. A few in particular I remember quite clearly. The first, he told me to eat chocolate. He said that something in how it was made would make me feel better. I didn't like chocolate, but at the airport I tried it anyway.

It didn't help.

Secondly, he gave me this incredible piece of advice on dating. He told me, "You should get out there and date as many people as you possibly can. See what it is that you like, and how people change between when you are dating them and when you are not."

This advice hit me hard. Specifically, because it was idiotic.

I remember having a moment of clarity in which I looked at my father with what must have been the most incredulous look I have ever mustered in my life. "Why would I do that?" I asked him. "Why not just be friends with people? If someone changes from how they are when I'm friends with them to when I'm dating them, I wouldn't want to date that person."

My dad paused for a long time, thinking over my words. "That's a better plan," he told me.

It was no wonder to me why he was divorced in that moment.

Looking back, it's funny how much about me has changed, and how much has stayed the same. That day no longer seems like such a big deal. And yet the stupidity of my father's advice sticks with me, as does my logic of the response. After all, what is your significant other but the ultimate best friend?